Day 31 - BONUS DAY - What have you learned in the last year?

Day 30 - Your favorite song

I don't ever have one favorite song.  Heck, I have several DAYS of music in my iTunes and I LOOOOOVE every single track.  But, I have favorite songs in moments... so here's one for now.

I love this song... I have a version on my iTunes that I like better, but I do love it when Michael McLean sings it.  It's a little more realistic sounding.

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned?

This question feels a lot like, "What did you do on your summer vacation?" :-)  Well... too much to write about on the sheet of notebook paper you just handed me, actually.  So I'll pick a few tidbits and share them with you.

I learned that I am me.  Still, and always, ME.  I love me!  I lost me for a while there, but I found me again.  I am a happy girl, truly.  I don't like drama, and I don't try to create it.  But I do have the capacity to DEAL with said drama.  I'm happy to have my family around and I know that they'll be there for me always... no matter what.  I know just EXACTLY how lucky I am to have that blessing.  I learned that I am loved by my Father in Heaven, and that He's got a plan for my life.  Blessedly, I have received confirmation that I am indeed following that plan.  And He's proud of me.  That's an amazing feeling, really.

I have had a GOOD December.  I'm looking forward to the months and YEAR ahead!

Day 28 - A picture of you from last year and now - How have you changed?

July, 2010

I was at my heaviest weight, I was pretty unhappy, I was not doing well emotionally... and I wasn't telling anyone.  What a sad me!  :-(  The cool part of this picture is that roughly ten years earlier, I was standing in this exact same spot... :-)  But I was WAY cuter that time than the time pictured.  DC humidity was wreaking HAVOC on my hair.  Normally, that was a cute little pixie cut, but the humidity turned it into a fluffy "mom" 'do.  :-/  Oh well!

December, 2011

I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm pregnant, and I'm looking forward to a new year with no mistakes in it yet!  I love my body and the amazing things it's doing.  I'm STILL a good 10-20 lbs lighter in this picture (with my 6 mo. pregnant belly, mind you) than I was in that picture from last year...  I got down to 125, my goal weight, right before I found out I was pregnant... and proceeded to drop down to around/below 120 due to morning sickness.  Don't worry, I've gained it ALL back now.  Lol!  And strangely enough, I kinda like the way I look... I don't want to keep this adorable belly around when there's no baby in it ;-) but I like it while Baby Bug's here.  :-)

Fact of the matter is, I've changed a whole heck of a lot in the last year.  I went through Hell... literally.  Rodney Atkin's knows what I mean...

That song got me through a few times.  But really, what REALLY got me through the tough times was the Lord.  I would NOT have made it without Him.  Divorce is awful.  Ask anyone who's been through one.  Not the plan, nope.  And it hurts.  And it's really hard to do when you're pregnant.  But sometimes, just sometimes, it's for the best in the long run.  Little Bug and I will be fine, and I know that for a fact, because the Lord has assured me of that on a frequent basis.

The funny thing about going through Hell, or a Refiner's Fire, or whatever you would like to call it?  You end up stronger on the other end.  :-)

Day 27 - Why you are doing this 30 day challenge

I am doing this 30 day challenge for a number of reasons.

1. My blog was SORELY lacking in posts.  And nobody really knew anything about me.  Lamesauce.
2. I decided to break my "internet anonymity" by "outing" myself online.  This seemed like a good way to do that.
3. If I truly want to have my blog printed into a book someday, it might be nice to actually have some stuff ABOUT me... :-)
4. I like to do memes.

Yup.  That about sums it up.

Day 26 - What do you think about your friends?

Honestly... that about sums it up.  :-)  My friends, like the Muppets, are an eclectic bunch.  They're a little weird, a little crazy, and a LOT awesome.  And I wouldn't get by without 'em.

Day 25 - What I would find in your bag

• Wallet
• Two flavors of gum, always a fruity kind and a minty kind
• iPhone earbuds... broken... got new ones today
• Purple pen
• Black pen
• Regular strength Tylenol (no Extra-Strength for preggies!)
• Lotion
• 2 lipsticks, 2 lip balms, 1 lip gloss and 1 eyeliner
• Keys
• iPhone

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

Day 23 - Something you crave often

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?

I love being rained on... especially when I'm wearing my big, black, polka-dot rain boots.  I like to suck on sour skittles.  I run because it makes me feel like I'm flying.  It's not actually "fun" and I'm not doing it for health reasons... I run because it makes me feel like I'm little, on the playground, and flying.  I want to be a nurse, mainly because there need to be people at the hospital who actually make patients feel like they matter.  I've had those nurses, now I want to BE one of those nurses.  I don't like to look "trendy".  I'm not trying to dress for how people see me... but I do like to be seen :-)  And not in a creepy way.  I just like to feel like I matter enough to be noticed, not blend into the background.  I really like science.  And I'm starting to really like math.

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

Well... I'm not marrying this little person... but I'll definitely be with them in the future.  Yup.  Those little feet will be with me for a good long while.  And THAT is all you GET about THAT.

Because frankly... it's too soon after my divorce for me to be naming names, or speculating, or anything of that nature.  I can tell you that I won't be marrying anyone in 2011.  I don't have any plans for marriage anytime soon.  I can, however, tell you some characteristics of the man I hope will be that special guy...

• He's gotta be patient.  With me, with my baby, with my family, with everything.
• He's gotta be kind.  No guile allowed.
• He needs to honor the covenants he makes.  He needs to VALUE the Gospel, and put God WAY above me and the kids.  If God's more important than anything else, all else will be fine.
• He needs to be able to laugh.  At the silly things, at the stupid things, at the frustrating things.
• He needs to have a good work ethic, and be willing to do the lame work if it's what needs doing.
• He need to be respectful.
• He should make me laugh.
• He should open doors, because chivalry is only dead when we let it be.
• He should make a good living, and be able to support a family.
• He should be able to let things slide.  Pick his battles, if you will.

Those are the things I'm looking for.  Handsome as all get out, killer eyes, and "gives good hugs" are also nice... but not 100% necessary.  Just really nice to have.  ;-)

Day 19 - Nicknames you have and why you have them

Aubby-Dobby - This is what my papa calls me.  :-)  He's called me that forever.

Aubs - This is what my little brudder calls me.  And again, he's called me that forever.

Bri/Bri-Bri - My 'Llanna calls me Bri-Bri or Bri... so does her momma, so do many of our mutual friends.

JuJuBri - This one hails from my Becca-Boo.  :-)  Since 9th grade.

Aubbie - I get this one a lot from a lot of people...

Baby - My granddad used to call me this... and it's what he called my momma too.  :-)

Awoo/WaWoo/LaRue - This is my momma.  It started with LaRue... then became "WaWoo" and then just AWOOOOO!  It's fun to howl...

Day 18 - List some plans, dreams, and goals that you have

I've actually had a really tough time with the concept of plans, dreams, and goals this year.  It seems like whenever I make a plan, dare to dream, or state a goal, they don't happen.  Not for lack of trying, but because Heavenly Father loves me and has better plans for me.  But... it still makes me leery of stating my plans, dreams, and goals.  Here's my list anyways...

• I know that I want to finish my pre-req's for nursing school, get accepted to nursing school, and then GRADUATE from nursing school.
• I know that I want to get my bachelor's in nursing, preferably online while working as a nurse.
• I know that I want to get my MASTERS in nursing, become a Certified Nurse Midwife, or a Nurse Anesthetist, and be able to pay off all my school debts and take good care of my family.
• I know that I want to have this sweet baby without any UNNECESSARY interventions (the necessary ones are fine!) and hopefully sans epidural.
• I know that I want to raise this sweet baby in a loving, and nurturing environment.
• I know that (someday) I want to be able to be on my own with this sweet baby, truly on my own two feet again.

And... those are kinda my only real plans, dreams, and goals for just now.  I'll do my annual New Year's Resolutions post on New Years Day... :-)

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

I think it would be really awesome to have a day with Audrey Hepburn.  I don't think I'd want to switch lives with her, but I do think it would have been awesome to spend a day with her.  She was such a bright, pretty, beautiful, woman.  I would have loved to see how she was off the screen.

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

Day 15 - Put your ipod or shuffle on-first 10 songs that play

Oh, this oughta be good... :-)  I have QUITE an eclectic iTunes collection.  Ecclectic, and extensive.  Since it's the holidays, there will be lots of Christmas music scattered in there too.  :-)

1. Caring Hands - Felicia Day - Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog Soundtrack
2. Glamourous - Fergie
3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Rosemary Clooney
4. Back To December - Taylor Swift
5. One of Those Lives - Brad Paisley
6. Silver Bells - Dean Martin
7. Oh, My Soul Hungered - Reprise
8. Cleaning This Gun (Come on In, Boy) - Rodney Atkins
9. Blow - Ke$ha
10. Lullaby - OneRepublic

Not bad, not bad... :-)

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

I actually really don't like this question.  I don't want to talk about being hurt.  :-/  Is that so wrong?

I've actually been hurt quite a lot in the last six months, and I've done a darn good job of not dwelling on it.  While I have written some very therapeutic letters to those who have hurt me, I choose not to post them on the internet.

Just suffice it to say, if you hurt me... that wasn't nice.  I don't like being gossiped about, ignored, lied to, or made fun of.  Pretty sure you don't either.  Please play nice on the playground... and that is all.

Day 12 - How you found out about blogging and why you have a blog

This post was originally posted about a year ago on another blog of mine.  Rather than rewriting the same post over again, I figured I'd just post this one again!  The reasons are still the same.  And this was a pretty good post, really.

See this gorgeous girl I'm hugging' on?  This is Naomi.  She's been my buddy since 9th grade.  You can blame her for my blogging.  When we were 14, she showed me her blog.  I was intrigued!  A diary?  Online?  AWESOME!  I have now been blogging for about 12 years.  Back in the day, before the internet got all fancy I even wrote my own HTML code for that blog.  I made a new blog every few months, when I got tired of people who I didn't want reading it having easy access to my thoughts.  Why it never occurred to me to just make it a private blog, I will never know!  But anyways, Naomi is the one who first told me about blogging.

Fast forward a few years.  Elder M. Russell Ballard gave a commencement address in 2007 at BYU-Hawaii.  He talked about the importance of using the internet for good, and how members of the church can use their personal blogs, Twitter accounts, Facebook accounts and other types of social media to stand as examples of what it really means to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today.  He invited members of the church to join the conversation on the internet.  You can read the talk here.  Or even watch a clip of the talk below.

This talk has been mentioned by other LDS bloggers, but it truly affected me.  I've become a lot more open about my faith online now.  It's a big part of my life, and I love to share what I believe.  I love having conversations and discussions about what I believe, and learning about what other people believe.  Why not do that on my blog?

Another reason that I blog is to have a record of my life.  I have always, always kept a journal.  I may not write every day, or even consistently.  But I do write.  I also have this blog.  Someday, I'd like to scan all of my old diaries and put them into one book.  I'd like to print these blogs out, and bind them.  I want to have my remembrances in one place, rather than 15!  I blog to preserve my story, and hopefully, to leave something behind for my progeny.   

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, etc.

Ahhh, songs...  :-)  I like to think my life is a movie, or a TV episode, and there's always the perfect score running quietly in the background.

Here are some of my current favorites (this week) Click the links for video, or hit play on the ones that are embedded.

Regina Spektor - Fidelity

Blake Shelton - Honey Bee






That one?  Strange Charm?  The incredibly awesome Hank Green... I <3 him...

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

So... I took a little hiatus.  To memorize lines and pass all my classes, if you read that LAST 30-day Challenge post I did.  But I'm BACK now... with a brand new attitude.  :-D

Something I'm proud of in the past few days... hmmm... how about...

I PASSED ALL MY CLASSES!!!!!!!


Seriously!  To all the people who say that going back to school after six and a half years means nothing but hardship and struggle, you can shut it.  :-)  And I mean that in the nicest of ways.  Yes, this was a harrrrrd term, made harder by my crazy life events, BUT!  I DID IT!  :-D  And I'm dang proud of myself.

Momma's got a brand new attitude...

My awesome friend Ashley posted a really neat blog post today.  She talked about living below your privileges, and it really struck me.  She's a rockstar.

But it got me thinking... Mainly about how I'm not ashamed of my past.  I'm not proud of a lot of it, and I'm sad about some of it, but I've certainly learned a lot from it.  And... maybe it's okay if I'm "out" on the internet.  Maybe it's okay if I let you know who I am.  Maybe it's okay if I stop hiding, because... that sorta makes it look like I'm ashamed of who I am.  The whole reason I was hiding behind the anonymity of this blog was because I was afraid that people would be watching me, and reading me, and knowing who I am... and there are a couple people I would prefer NOT to know my everyday comings and goings.  But... that's kinda silly.  I have so many friends and family that are scattered abroad, and blogs are how we keep in touch a lot of the time.

I still plan on keeping "internet names" for me and mine.  And I'm still on the fence about putting up Baby Bug's image on the web.  But... Maybe it's not so bad if I start sharing my blog.  :-)  Enough people have asked, that maybe it's time.  So... here goes.

My name is Aubri.  I'm 25, I am a single mom.  My ex-husband and I divorced in my first trimester.  I don't talk much about him, because that's his business.  I don't talk much about our marriage and divorce because he's a private person, and I respect his privacy enough to leave it at that.  It's not just MY story, it's his story too.  And he chooses to keep his stories OFF the web, so out of respect for him, I keep it off my corner of the web.  I hope that everyone else would respect him enough to leave him out of my internet life as well.  I will never tolerate anyone slamming him, his character, or his family.

Hello internet.  I'm here to make my case, and present myself to the world.  Aubri, The Lemon Momma... out and proud.